Jakarta Jazz

In the old town

Jakarta Jazz - your intrepid reporters find themselves trapped in a 24 hour club surrounded by prostitutes, drug dealers and homosexuals...will they ever escape?

This weekend was the Jakarta jazz festival. Carlos Santana was headlining. By pure coincidence I was in Jakarta at the same time. Much as I loved him when I was a kid playing with air guitars and broomsticks, it was all a bit of a rush to try and fit in the festival and we didn’t attend. In fact, this weekend, only one note of jazz passed my ears and I complained vociferously (see below). Instead, I was taken to a series of old buildings, delicious restaurants and a very interesting club indeed.

What can I say about Jakarta? It’s an exciting city. There’s a lot of corruption. You have to be on your toes. Billy was asked for a bribe at immigration as he arrived, even though he used his British passport. Taxi drivers seem more reliable than in KL. For the most part they don’t haggle and the cars are modern. But touts will often ask you for ‘parking’ money when a taxi stops for you on their turf. The museums were ‘closed’ but an enterprising ‘guide’ was able to bring us in and show us around.

Students interviewed us for an English project

At night our friends took us to Musro, short for Music Room. It’s straight most of the time. Local gay DJ Vishnu, who’s played in KL for Maison and Princeworld, promotes a gay night once a month. Our host was allowed to bring in guests for free, so long as they were ‘glamorous’. Apparently my red Trilby was sufficiently glamorous to allow me in and I took part in a photo shoot. Regrettably, after the photos were taken I realised my flies were undone. Not so glamorous after all. This photo will not be shown.

Glamorous hat wearer listens to guide in 'closed' museum

Malaysian starlette Princess Anne was spinning along with a frantic turn-over of 7 other deejays playing 20-minute sets. She was OK but I wasn’t very impressed with the other music. Worse, the live show consisted of a ladyboy lipsyncing to ‘I Love New York’. Why gay clubs still insist on putting on drag shows, I have no idea. I just don’t get it. Am I a freak, to find them so tedious? The second show was two handsome guys rubbing against each other. That was better, I suppose but hardly inspiring club theatre!

Next stop, Apollo. This is gay every Saturday. As we arrived, a large group of gogo boys climbed on the podiums and bars and did their thing. Bill was certainly absent from other proceedings until they were done. One in particular was very watchable. Sorry, still no pictures for you!

Well, then the clubbing began in earnest. Jakarta is famous for Stadium, a 24-hour clubbing phenomenon. It’s open non-stop from Friday till Monday. 4 floors, endless deejays, new waves of people coming in and out, live music, karaoke, hotel rooms, alcohol, in-house drugs and prostitutes fuel a non-stop mostly straight party.

Yes, I told you Jakarta is corrupt. As you enter the main dance floor, your choices are clear. Prostitutes on the left, drug dealers on the right. Both groups offer you their services. Apparently, the staff can be very helpful and can make introductions and recommendations. For this to be happening on such a massive scale the police must be involved too. And making a lot of money. Repeating 'No sex please, we're British...', we pushed manfully past the cordon of prostitutes onto the dance floor.

Well, I have to tell you,  the music was fabulous. I’m not easily pleased in clubs but for two nights in a row I could be found dancing away happily. For some reason people were much more friendly on the second night and there were many more gay guys to be seen. In fact, our little group was quickly surrounded by smiling locals. In one way it reminded me of Trade, the iconic London club I wrote about in a February blog. The expectancy, the excitement and the permissiveness. In other ways, it was totally Asian and very different.

There must be many reasons why the music is so bad in gay clubs in KL. By the way, if you don’t realise how bad it is, it’s because you don’t travel. One reason is the opening hours. People dance from 12 midnight till 3am. They’re drunk from about 1am. So the deejays have the crowd how they want them, tanked up and raring to go, for barely two hours. Compare that with a crowd in Stadium in Jakarta, or Beyond or Trade in London. There’s plenty of time for the deejays to build the mood and to let the music soar. In KL everything is concertinaed into two hours. That’s not an excuse for the deejays but at least it helps me to understand them better.

As for me,  I’ll be back at Stadium some time soon. That was fun!